Movie Review: April Fool's Day (2008)

April Fool’s Day (2008)

The Young and the Deadly

Directed By: The Butcher Brothers
Starring: Taylor Cole, Josh Henderson, Scout Taylor-Compton, & Sabrina Aldridge
MPAA Rating: “Unrated”

The original April Fool’s Day was fairly standard eighties slasher fare with a divisive twist at the end that, love it or hate it, made it stand out amongst the crowd. April Fool’s Day (2008) is just about the same thing, except it is just standard remake fluff with a fairly intriguing conclusion. Everything, from the characters to the plot, is highly-calculated, with every aspect of the original film twisted beyond recognition and aimed at a dumbed-down audience of teenagers with dead or dying brain cells. It is a sign of the times that all of the characters are fabulously wealthy Paris Hilton wannabes minus the sex tape and that the deaths are, for the most part, bloodless occurrences that all seem like horrible accidents rather than murders. The film may pride itself on being “Unrated” or whatnot, but you should not be fooled. You’ve seen this all before.

In what I suppose is a deleted episode of The Young and the Restless, Desiree Cartier (Cole) and Blaine Cartier (Henderson) are considered to be the Kennedy’s of the Carolina. They are very wealthy, obnoxiously spoiled, and both of their parents have died, leaving them the sole heirs of the fortune. On April Fool’s Day 2007, Desiree throws a swinging debut for the newest member of her clique, Torrance (Taylor-Compton), but little does everyone know that it is merely a ruse for Desiree’s latest prank. However, the prank soon leaves the young Milan Hastings (Aldridge) dead with Desiree, Blaine, and their friends at the center of a yearlong investigation. Exactly one year later, they all receive letters from a mysterious stranger who threatens that, if someone does not admit to Milan’s murder, they will all systematically die over the course of the day.

And so the teenagers begin to die in bloodless, unexciting ways. Most of the scenes are implausible, even ridiculous. Take for example, the first of these scenes: a man leaps into his pool to rescue his drowning dog only to discover that it is just a stuffed animal...and that he cannot swim. A general rule for horror films: if a character says that he or she cannot swim, the said character will either drown within the next thirty minutes or learn to swim by the end. We can only wonder how the killer could film the victim from one side of the pool and yet throw the stuffed dog into the water on the other end of the pool simultaneously. April Fool’s Day never concerns itself with such trivial matters so why should we? It also rarely concerns itself with good acting (the young Miss Taylor-Compton is the only one who comes out looking okay), solid directing, or genuine scares. Had the film gone directly to Lifetime Movie Channel, it would have been the next classic TV drama. As a horror movie, it is barely passable.

April Fool’s Day is not a good movie, but the ending makes it work...somewhat. Expecting a carbon copy of the original conclusion, it was pleasant to see a mean-spirited twist right at the very end. Unfortunately, that is the only bit of backbone in this entire limp genre effort. Everything else seems to roll around in mediocrity. Even the musical score, from James Stemple, is atrocious...perhaps even more terrible than anything else. It resembles something that might accompany Elmer Fudd just moments before his face gets blown off and then magically reassembles in the very next scene. In fact, much of April Fool’s Day could be compared to those old cartoon favorites, except it isn’t nearly as likable. The overacting, with characters looking comical rather than terrified, and the occasionally unintentional humor (i.e. Elton) don’t help matters. As much as I dislike admitting it, however, it is a rather harmless film that is entertaining for, if nothing else, its sheer badness. It is all like a hammy soap opera mixed with a really cheap slasher flick.