Movie Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Don't Go To Sleep!

Directed By: Wes Craven
Starring: John Saxon, Heather Langenkamp, & Robert Englund
MPAA Rating: “R”

A Nightmare on Elm Street is now best remembered for introducing the quick-witted Freddie Krueger and starting a long line of sequels. However, what most people forget is that the Freddie Krueger that Wes Craven introduced is a brutal, terrifying monster that is not humorous or fun. It’s sad to see his face pressed onto lunch boxers, t-shirts, and even a television show. Krueger just isn’t scary anymore. Oh but he was in 1984 when Wes Craven first unleashed him onto the world. If Halloween (1978) reveled in suspense and Friday the 13th (1980) reveled in oversexed teens being massacred, then A Nightmare on Elm Street revels in slick visuals, horrifying special effects, and creativity. This movie will have you staying up late, afraid to go to sleep.

Nancy Thompson (Langenkamp) is a beautiful young woman who is terrified when her best friend, Tina Gray (Amanda Wyss), is brutally slashed to death during a sleepover. Everyone assumes that the killer was Tina’s boyfriend, Rod (Nick Corri), who was in the room with her at the time, but insists that it was really an invisible assailant. Nancy’s nightmare continues when she discovers that she and all of her friends, including Tina, have been having nightmares about the same disfigured man who wears a red and green sweater and a glove with four blades for fingers. As Nancy’s friends begin to die, she comes to the realization that someone is killing them all in their dreams. That person is Freddie Krueger, a child killer who was brought to justice when a group of parents burnt him to death in a boiler room. Now, he wants revenge on the children of Elm Street!

What is there not to like about A Nightmare on Elm Street? It’s smart, directed with creativity, and one of the few films that still remains scary all these years later. This is the film that really jumpstarted the career of Wes Craven. After such films as The Last House on the Left and The Hills Have Eyes, Craven steps away from the lower-budgeted, point-and-shoot films of the seventies and really embraces eighties’ approach to style. The musical score (by Charles Bernstein), the novel use of shadows and sinister angles, and the exceptional special effects all show that, while Craven may have been able to tackle disturbing material earlier, he now understands how to do that and make it look good. A Nightmare on Elm Street is as visually-impressive as it is scary and creative. Craven takes a risk by tackling plenty of really difficult material for the time (i.e. the blood geyser) and yet it all looks great.

Heather Langenkamp may not be Jamie Lee Curtis, but she makes for a sympathetic heroine and the perfect opponent for Freddie Krueger. If he is the epitome of evil, she is the epitome of purity. The struggle between them is one that resembles those seen in Halloween and Friday the 13th, except Langenkamp’s character of Nancy cannot escape; she has to sleep some time, after all. Her situation is so desperate and that is what makes A Nightmare on Elm Street even more frightening. We all have to sleep and the film poses an intriguing question about this normal practice: how do we know that our dreams are fake? How do we know that, when we escape some source of terror in our dreams, we aren’t escaping actual death? A Nightmare on Elm Street poses this question and then runs with it to amazing results. You will never want to sleep again!

Movie Review: The Cottage (2008)

The Cottage (2008)

Unevenly Entertaining

Directed By: Paul Andrew Williams
Starring: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith, & Jennifer Ellison
MPAA Rating: “Unrated”

So, this is really the second review that I have written for The Cottage. The first has been completely deleted, because I felt that it did not accurately depict my feelings toward the film. Upon reading it after submitting it, I found that it seemed to be far too negative and, despite my three-out-of-five star rating (which I also moved up to a three-and-a-half star rating), I felt that this needed to be reconciled. And so I am writing a second review. I liked The Cottage a lot as a comedy and felt that it was a little better than average as a horror movie. Looking at the film as a whole, it is a really funny and surprisingly gory British comedy that would have worked better had the filmmakers combined the two aspects (the horror and the comedy) in a more effective way. As it is, the film feels as though we are watching a comedy that suddenly breaks into a horror movie within a matter of minutes.

David (Serkis) and Peter (Shearsmith) are two very different brothers who have found themselves in a spot of trouble. Desperate for money, David orchestrates the kidnapping of pampered princess Tracey (Ellison) and convinces Peter to go along with it by promising him complete ownership of their deceased mother’s home. They take the angry young woman to a secluded cottage and send word to her father about their ransom demands. When Tracey orchestrates an ingenious escape and turns the tables on her captors by kidnapping Peter, she carries him off into the woods. The pair stumbles across another cottage nearby and looks to it for some kind of help. Instead, they find a hulking and brutal serial killer with a fetish for heads who does not want them to leave.

The Cottage is, if nothing else, a well-made and well-acted comedy that keeps its audience almost completely entertained throughout the duration. The film begins suddenly (in a good way) by throwing us immediately into the kidnapping plot and telling us that things are not going well. Much of the rest is about how the plot goes from bad to worse. The beautiful, but annoying Tracey is far more intelligent than the two bumbling kidnappers and, given the fact that they have the upper hand (she is bound and gagged), it is fun to watch them all butt horns. When Tracey breaks Peter’s nose, I thought I would die laughing. Her big escape is hilarious and completely appropriate to the film. When the horror kicks in, I was not impressed with the originality, but the creative gore scenes really bowled me over. This movie packs a harsh punch.

So, if I enjoyed all of this about the film, why did it not get a perfect score? Well, there are a few times when the pace slows to a crawl and nearly stops, taking us out of the action for a little too long. Also, the horror and the comedy do not really gel that well. Imagine if you got halfway through Halloween (1978) and it suddenly turned into a comedy. That’s how The Cottage felt, except opposite. It didn’t really work well for me. Also, was it just me or was the horror aspect completely underplayed? It made up a small fraction of the runtime and was never really developed enough for me. Who was the killer? Who were those cannibal women in his basement? I have no idea. However, even if The Cottage has several holes in its narrative and somewhat of a creaky overall structure, it is quite a fun film that sports a sleek sense of humor and some pretty wicked kill sequences.

Movie Review: The Happening (2008)

The Happening (2008)

The World Fights Back

Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, & John Leguizamo
MPAA Rating: “R” (for violent and disturbing images)

M. Night Shyamalan began his career on a pedestal with The Sixth Sense and, though he remained on solid ground with such films as Signs and Unbreakable, he faltered with The Village and drove his career clean off of a cliff with Lady in the Water. Now, he is trying to revive himself with The Happening, his first R-rated film (you probably knew this because it is stated in nearly every commercial). For the film, he again collected a wonderful cast of talented stars led by Mark Wahlberg and featuring Zooey Deschanel and John Leguizamo. He again keeps many plot points under wraps, no doubt hoping that mystery alone can get butts in seats. He doesn’t need to worry about that. The box-office results are in and Shyamalan has finally made another financially-successful movie. The only question is this: is it any good?

Elliot Moore (Wahlberg) is a science teacher in Philadelphia who is taken by surprise when his class is interrupted by the principal who tells him that there was a terrorist attack on Central Park. Elliot immediately heads home to his wife Alma (Deschanel) who has also learned of the attack via the news. They are your typical horror movie couple; they are having trouble, but we all know that, live or die, their problems will be rectified by the final credits. We also meet Julian (Leguizamo, not like himself), a math teacher at Elliot’s school. Julian has a young daughter, Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez), and a wife, but we never meet her. When they all head off together in hopes of waiting out the turmoil brought on by the attack, they soon find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere and forced to endure the happening.

One thing that can always be said about M. Night Shyamalan is that he is a good director with an eerie visual style. Never before have I seen construction workers leaping to their deaths look so beautiful. The Happening is a visually-arresting film that displays his directing talent well. I must also give him props for maintaining a level of mystery in the advertising and yet not relying on yet another twist ending for the film. The Happening is far too subtle for some big revelation to seem fluid. Shyamalan also does well by providing a unique perspective of what seems to be the apocalypse. He never films anything that remotely resembles hundreds of people desperately trying to escape Philadelphia, instead focusing on the internal turmoil that one must go through when his or her life is thrown into a state of disarray.

The Happening is also entertaining almost constantly. Though it does have times where the plot slows, they feel necessary. Our characters need time to reflect and the film is very keen on self-reflection. However, it must be said that Shyamalan really fails when it comes to writing realistic dialog and creating solid relationships. I just didn’t feel like any of these characters were very real. The chemistry between Wahlberg and Deschanel is practically nonexistent and Shyamalan does nothing to help that with the dialog between the two of them. Some of the acting is also quite questionable. Even the usually wonderful Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel do not achieve their maximum potential here. Still, after nearly two months of big-budget explosions and superheroes, it is nice to take a breather and enjoy a more introspective film. It may not be a complete return to his pedestal, but for Shyamalan it is a step in the right direction.

Movie Review: The Evil Dead (1981)

The Evil Dead (1981)

Unyielding...Violent...Amazing

Directed By: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Campbell, Ellen Sandweiss, & Betsy Baker
MPAA Rating: “NC-17” (for substantial graphic horror violence and gore)

If you have not seen The Evil Dead, then you are not a true horror fan. Pack up your bags and head back to the Disney Channel, because this is the movie that will push you to your limits before kicking you squarely off into a whole new world of terror. If you have seen it and don’t like it, then you just don’t like movies. Shot on a miniscule budget with an unheard-of cast and a fledgling director, it is 85 minutes of pure horror violence. Blood coats every second of this bitter pill, literally running from electrical sockets and lightbulbs when it isn’t exploding from some poor gal’s severed limb. To watch it and not be shocked by the level of carnage on display is impossible.

Ash Williams (Campbell) and his friends, including his loving girlfriend Linda (Baker), head off to an abandoned and run-down cabin for a weekend of fun. After hearing a strange noise in the basement, Ash finds a book made of human skin and written in human blood as well as a recording of an old professor describing some terrible evil. When the professor begins to chant a strange incantation of sorts, an unspeakable evil is awakened and begins to plague the friends. When the innocent Cheryl (Sandweiss) tries to escape, she is savagely attacked and raped by the trees, forcing her to return to the cabin. Not too long later, Ash and everyone else realize that she has been possessed by the evil and that, unless they can stop the force, it will possess all of them and turn them into rotting, snarling, and bloodthirsty monsters.

Okay, so let’s be very honest for a second. The Evil Dead is not a technical marvel. The special effects are hammy and the acting is second-rate. Not even the most jaded horror enthusiast would deny any of this, but none of this really matters when you look at its budget. Sam Raimi could not really help any of this given his limited resources. However, the important thing is what he did with what he had. If he had a carton of milk, he would load it up into one of the monsters and let it spew out. Using practically nothing except for a camera, a small cast, and plenty of fake blood, he makes one of the best horror films of all-time. His direction is smart, savvy, and wild; he plays up the strange camera angles all the time. The music seems to fit it all. Like I said, Raimi uses what he has to create a truly amazing movie.

What can I say? I love The Evil Dead...love it, love it, love it. It’s the kind of movie I could watch over and over and never get bored. Packed with all kinds of gore gags, truly scary moments, and off-the-wall violence, The Evil Dead is gross, obnoxious, vile, and as close to perfect as it could possibly be. The fact that Raimi had to use such cheap techniques to create the violence somehow makes them even scarier. Look at the larger-budgeted Halloween II (made the same year), the violence on display there looks nice and all, but it does not even come close to the imperfect terror that permeates each and every scene in The Evil Dead. If you want to really make a hardcore horror fan cringe in terror and disgust, just show them this film. It gets me every time.

Movie Review: The Lost Boys (1987)

The Lost Boys (1987)

I Love the Eighties

Directed By: Joel Schumacher
Starring: Jason Patric, Jami Gertz, Corey Haim, & Keifer Sutherland
MPAA Rating: “R”

The eighties are best remembered for producing hundreds of dumb-as-nails slasher flicks that sported boobs, blood, and not much else. Many of these films were not that great, but every once in a while the horror genre managed to spit out a truly creative and fun piece of film that is still remembered and even loved today. In 1987, one of those films was released...Joel Schumacher’s The Lost Boys. Featuring a hip cast of rising stars (many of whom are still recognizable...for good and bad reasons, of course) and showcasing a wild visual feast from Schumacher, The Lost Boys is a stylish vampire film that, despite a few flaws here and there, is one of the most fun films to come out of its decade.

Sam Emerson (Haim) and his older brother, Michael (Patric), are none too pleased about having to move to California with their mousy mother, Lucy (Dianne Wiest). They want to stay in Phoenix, especially when they discover that their new home is called the “Murder Capital of the World.” However, the optimistic Michael insists that it won’t be so bad and so the two try to find their place on the local boardwalk, while their mother flirts precariously with her new employer, Max (Edward Herrmann). On the boardwalk, there is a group of leather-clad misfits led by the pale and mysterious David (Sutherland). With the help of two strange comic book salesmen, Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan (Jamison Newlander) Frog, Sam learns that this is a group of vampires and, unless he can stop them, his brother may soon be their new member. To save Michael, he must find and kill the lead vampire...but who could it be?

The Lost Boys did something that I do not believe was ever done before it. Instead of portraying vampires as polished aristocrats who lived in expensive castles and drank blood out of golden goblets, it portrayed them as hip teenagers who were very much a part of the California party scene. They were social people, not eerie recluses. We can see how this trend expanded in projects such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which owes a lot of its edginess to The Lost Boys, by the way). Filled with references to other horror films and delivering almost constantly witty dialog, The Lost Boys never takes itself too seriously and yet never seems to be too comical. It walks a very thin line, but does it quite well. The Lost Boys almost always seems to understand just exactly what it wants to be and nails it almost constantly.

If there is a problem with The Lost Boys, it is because I had to use the word “almost” in the previous sentence. The film is always on the verge of breaking into deeper, more profound material and yet it restricts itself too often. We never get to see any depth behind the lost boys (with the exception of David) and the film even fails to deliver in showing just how Michael deals with his descent into the vampire lifestyle. Adding just these two elements would have heightened The Lost Boys to an entirely new level. As it is, The Lost Boys still works as stylish entertainment that doesn’t skimp on satire or straight-edged terror. The vampire makeup is sinister, the musical score is affecting, the direction is vivid and colorful, and the performances all work well. If nothing else, The Lost Boys features Keifer Sutherland chewing up the scenery and sporting a wicked blonde hairdo.

Movie Review: Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Pure Camp Classic

Directed By: Robert Hiltzik
Starring: Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten, & Karen Fields
MPAA Rating: “R”

If you haven’t seen Sleepaway Camp, then make sure that you don’t know about its ending...though, more than twenty years later, that is probably impossible. Sleepaway Camp (1983) is one of the many films to take its inspiration (read: entire plot) from Friday the 13th, which was made three years earlier. Like its predecessor, which had a rather shocking twist at the ending (You mean...it wasn’t Jason?), Sleepaway Camp also features a twist, except it is evening more surprising. In other words, you won’t see it coming and it takes the film to a whole new level of shock. A cult classic nowadays, Sleepaway Camp deserves praise for its gloomy atmosphere, creative death scenes, and for its ability to tackle relationships in a realistic fashion. Oh yes, and for the fact that the killer is...just kidding, I won’t spoil it.

Angela (Rose) was just a young girl when her father and brother were killed in a boating accident near a local summer camp. Eight years later, she is living with her crazy aunt and loving cousin, Ricky (Tiersten). She and Ricky head off to spend the summer at Camp Arawak. Angela, a silent recluse who is often ridiculed, finds the camp to be a very unfriendly place. Nearly everyone, especially the token slut Judy (Fields), verbally assaults her and attempts to humiliate her whenever they have a chance. Fortunately for the shy girl, someone has taken an instant disliking to everyone who messes with her and he or she begins to kill them off one-by-one in very gruesome and creative ways. Could Angela possibly be the one responsible? Or perhaps it is Ricky who is so desperate to protect her? Or, maybe, it is someone else entirely.

Sleepaway Camp is not the kind of slasher flick that relies solely on offing a bunch of teenagers in as many different ways as possible, though that is certainly present as well. It focuses on Angela and her relationships with the people around her. We spend much of the movie following her in various encounters with a multitude of fellow campers and camp counselors. From these encounters, we can figure out who will live and who will die. Angela is played with conviction by the vulnerable Felissa Rose who brings plenty of sympathy to the character. We rarely feel sorry for any of the victims, because they are all just truly bad people. Instead, we connect with Angela and this makes the film become even more intriguing when we come to the realization that she may very well be the killer.

Sleepaway Camp stumbles a few times by slowing down its rocket-fast pace in order to give us a number of useless scenes that don’t really do anything. One such instance is the baseball game between Ricky’s cabin and the other cabin filled with jerks. It just didn’t do anything for me and seemed to be thrown in at random. It also ended way too abruptly, given the big reveal. I wanted to know more, but was left woefully uninformed. It seemed off to me that the film rarely showed its death scenes. Most were just implied and I really wanted to see what was going on, especially in the infamous hair curler scene. However, all of this didn’t really annoy me too much when compared to the fun I was having the rest of the time. It is one of the few movies that left me with my mouth hanging open in shock. Pack your bags and let’s go to camp!

News: Happy Friday the 13th

Happy Friday the 13th!

I hope you are all having an amazing Friday the 13th! I know that I am, especially with all of the stuff coming from the set of the new Friday the 13th (2009), which wrapped production today. All of this came courtesy of MTV News. The biggest thing is, of course, the big reveal of the infamous Jason Voorhees hockey mask that will, no doubt, be splattered with blood come February 2009. You can see it above. There is also a short video from the set that, aside from the mask, also shows Amanda Righetti, Jared Padalecki, and Danielle Panabaker running. Yeah, it may not be that exciting, but at least you can have your first solid look at Camp Crystal Lake. You can check out the video at http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1589255/story.jhtml and watch Jason Voorhees resume his mass slaughter of over-sexed teenagers on February 13, 2009.

Movie Review: The Strangers (2008)

The Strangers (2008)

Sends Chills Down Your Spine

Directed By: Bryan Bertino
Starring: Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman, & Glenn Howerton
MPAA Rating: “R” (for violence/terror and language)

Mainstream American cinema is not producing films like The Strangers anymore. For whatever reason (ahem...money), Hollywood producers are so focused on tossing as much crap as possible at theaters. Remakes are the hottest thing nowadays, because they are so easy to make. Films that lack scares and suspense are thrown out nearly every weekend. Toss in a killer, a bunch of future corpses, a knife or two, blend it to a puree, sprinkle a dash of cheap jump scares and a bit of humor on top, and serve. So, color me surprised when I plopped down in my uncomfortable theater chair and got served something completely different. Yes, there was some semblance of more familiar dishes, but the big bite behind it all made it so much better.

It was supposed to be the night they would both remember for James (Speedman) and Kristen (Tyler). It seemed like the perfect plan; he would propose and they would spend an intimate night together at his family’s secluded summer home. The first kink in his evening, however, is when Kristen turns down the proposal, insisting that she just isn’t ready. The second is when a mysterious blonde woman knocks on the door at four o’clock in the morning. She asks for someone who isn’t there and they promptly send her away. However, she does not go away...and she is not alone. Quickly, Kristen and James realize that this was not just a random encounter...or was it? All they know is that the strangers who arrived in the night want them dead and the only thing worse than dying is living to see what they have planned.

Horror films tend to find a relatively young cast of rising stars and CW alums that are known more for their pearly whites than their talent. Think Jessica Alba, Brittany Snow, Shannyn Sossamon, and a slew of others. There is nothing wrong with any of these actresses (all of the ones I mentioned are quite talented and most of the others are decent as well), but they just scream for a teen audience. Because of this, we all know that, when one of these names is on the theater marquee, we can expect a teen-focused film...you know, the kind of movie focused on people who think One Missed Call (2008) was the scariest movie like ever! So, it is a credit to The Strangers that Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman headline. It’s a great cast and both of them work so well together. We relate to them, like them, and desperately want to see them survive. Throw most other actors and actresses into the same roles and you have a far inferior film.

On top of the wonderful cast, The Strangers also sports an eerie musical score, a dreary and chill-inducing atmosphere, a mean edge that ran from beginning to end, and a tense direction that captures it all beautifully. All of these components come together to form a truly scary movie that, at a brisk 85 minutes, rockets along with one jolt after another. Once it latches onto our throats, we are pulled viciously through each and every scene like some worthless rag doll. All of this leads up to a maniacal conclusion that proceeds to rip our throat outs and toss them aside, leaving us to pick up the pieces. On the flipside, our characters do manage to make a string of silly mistakes that only serve the plot, forcing us to groan for a large chunk of the midsection. For crying out loud, either just start running and never look back or take the shotgun and start shooting! However, my groans were quickly interrupted by my screams as, just when the movie seemed to be slowing down, it would deliver yet another pulse-pounded suspense bit. If you haven’t been visited by the strangers yet, I definitely recommend you invite them over soon.

Movie Review: Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th (1980)

The Dead Teenager Movie

Directed By: Sean S. Cunningham
Starring: Betsy Palmer, Adrienne King, Harry Crosby, & Laurie Bartram
MPAA Rating: “R”

If Halloween (1978) was a slasher film about suspense and mystery, Friday the 13th (1980) is one about dead teenagers. That really is all there is to it; a low-budget shocker with a shoestring plot and not much to say created a wave of films that attempted to do the same thing with much poorer results. People often compare Friday the 13th with Halloween, but the two films are really quite different. Halloween was never about the killings; it was all about the terror behind them. This is why so many of the death scenes are so brief, whereas the stalk scenes are so long. Friday the 13th is all about hacking up a bunch of oversexed teenagers in a multitude of ways. However, it does this in a brutally effective and very creepy way.

A slew of teenagers you have probably seen before, including the smart and good-hearted Alice (King), all accept positions at a secluded summer camp for children. Local townspeople warn them all about the place; “It has a death curse!” and so on and so forth. Supposedly, years earlier, a young boy supposedly drowned at the camp and then, the year after that, two counselors were brutally murdered. The killer was never found. A few days before the campers are set to arrive, all of the counselors are busy preparing. However, someone does not want the camp to reopen and he or she is willing to do anything to make sure that it doesn’t. Very quickly, counselors begin to die one-by-one in a variety of ghoulish ways. Could it possibly be that the young dead boy from so long ago has come back for his revenge...or is someone else responsible?

Everyone with half a brain cell and even the slightest knowledge of the horror genre knows the answer to that question...well, Drew Barrymore didn’t. The conclusion to this film is a rather surprising one and one that is often forgotten by fans who came into the series in later installments. I won’t spoil it, though, for the two of you that do not know. The series that most people know really started with the second or third film (depending on your definition of Jason Voorhees) and this is unfortunate because Friday the 13th is a well-made dead teenager movie, one that is shot with style and filmed with enthusiasm. Its death scenes never skimp on the brutality and the final showdown between the killer and the token girl is an exercise in tension and suspense (loved the pantry bit, by the way).

Throw likable characters, slick direction, a cool musical score, and a final scare that still gives me chills on top of all of that and you have one of the best dead teenager movies ever made. Made in 1980 and birthed primarily off the success of Carpenter’s Halloween, it was followed by countless sequels and rip-offs that attempted to do the exact same thing as this except without creativity and without much fun. The best thing that can be said about all of these inferior films, however, is that they certainly make me appreciate the original even more. This is one of those horror classics that should be a staple in every horror fan’s collection. With a remake (that supposedly may also fit in the original series as well) coming in 2009 and probably even more sequels after that, it seems obvious that Friday the 13th is one of those horror gems that will continue to live on for years to come.

Movie Review: Backwoods (2008)

Backwoods (2008)

Letters from Obscurity

Directed By: Marty Weiss
Starring: Ryan Merriman, Haylie Duff, & Danny Nucci
MPAA Rating: “Not Rated”

Backwoods (2008) is the kind of film that you hear about once, forget about entirely, and then spot suddenly on some random cable network (in this case, Spike TV). In fact, the only reason I recognized it when I saw a badly-edited commercial in between UFC fights two weeks ago was because I remembered that Haylie Duff (yes, Hilary’s sister) was starring in another horror film besides the ice cream one. Literally, that is the thought that went through my head. Needless to say, I was none too excited when I decided to finally sit down and watch it...and I was even more agitated upon trying to find any information about it on the internet afterward. There is no poster, no trailer...nothing. Was it just me or was this film treated like an unwanted stepchild that someone kept locked in the basement until they were forced to release it on the world?

A bunch of poorly-developed business executives, led by the far-too-enthusiastic John (Craig Zimmerman), head off into the middle of secluded woods in order to participate in a weekend of team-building exercises (yawn). During a heated game of paintball, however, one of the teams is abducted by a group of overly-zealous nutcase hillbillies (double yawn). The other team, including Adam (Merriman) and Lee (Duff), is also soon abducted and brought to an underground facility where the rednecks are making cocaine, praising their warped image of God, and raping innocent women in order to procreate. When the survivors of the ordeal try to escape, they discover that this nightmare stretches deeper than they could have ever imagined and that making it out alive may very well be impossible.

So, Backwoods was treated like a toxic film, one that was so abysmal not even the most obsolete production company wanted to touch it. Where do films like this go? Spike TV, obviously, which is known for nothing aside from fighting and the short-lived and mediocre Blade: The Series. So, all of this spelled trouble...not to mention the film starred a cast of relatively unknowns with only Ryan Merriman and Haylie Duff (Material Girls anyone?) being noteworthy additions. Oh, but did I also mention that the director, Marty Weiss, has only two other directorial credits to his name: Vampires: The Turning and a short film called The Pre Nup. And though the short film has a relatively high rating here on IMDb, his only full-length film has been completely panned. So, with red lights practically blinding me, I sat down to experience Backwoods. What I got was a ninety-minute exercise in mediocrity that only works because of its rapid pace, easy viewing experience, and pure entertainment value.

Backwoods has some fairly crappy acting, dumb villains, boring directing, and a completely clichéd storyline that we have seen countless times before and in much better ways. While violence is present, blood and gore is limited due to the means of the film’s release. You can’t show a severed head on network television. Even the music did not stand out. Backwoods begins with the obligatory scene that shows two campers being attacked, just to let us all know that these woods are not your typical woods. They are filled with a bunch of inbred zealots who, for some inexplicable reason, make cocaine. However, what makes Backwoods better than it should have been is that, when I sit down to watch a straight-to-television film, I expect complete and utter crap. So, I was pleasantly surprised to find the film to be actually watchable. It may be dumb and useless, but I was never bored and it showcased considerable talent in, if nothing else, keeping the plot moving. And, as embarrassing as it may be to admit, I cannot say that I disliked it. “Indifferent” is the word I would use. On a side note: I think I have been forced to use that word far too often lately to describe the current state of mainstream horror cinema.

Movie Review: The Eye (2008)

The Eye (2008)

This Eye Is Not My Eye

Directed By: David Moreau & Xavier Palud
Starring: Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, & Parker Posey
MPAA Rating: “PG-13” (for violence/terror and disturbing content)

If you have seen the 2002 film Gin gwai (The Eye) from the Pang Brothers, then do not even let this American remake darken the doorway of your Netflix Queue. There really is no point; this is a carbon copy of the film I described as “what horror looks like when it is used as an art, not as a gimmick.” In fact, if I was judging it based on originality, it would receive a failing score, hands down with no questions asked. Did they even write a new script? However, what The Eye (2008) lacks in creativity, it makes up for with its slick and polished look, technically-impressive special effects, and a sympathetic performance from Jessica Alba. This is not the terrifying horror opus that was the Pang Brothers’ film; it is the Americanized version of it. Depending on a multitude of factors, that could be a compliment or an insult.

Sydney Wells (Alba) is a beautiful violinist who has been blind since the age of five. Now, at the persistence of her sister (Posey), she has a cornea transplant that will hopefully allow her to see again. However, soon after, she begins to see dark shadows that should not be there and seem strangely menacing. In a particularly noticeable episode, she sees one of the specters take another hospital patient away only to discover the next morning that that patient died in the night. Soon, she is seeing full-fledged horrific images that are downright violent at time. As the situation grows far more desperate for the ailing woman, she decides to hunt down the original owner of the eyes in order to uncover their terrifying past.

I was a big fan of the original film. I felt that it was a beautifully-told film that worked both as a nail-biter of a horror film and an intense psychological drama. Apparently, so did the producers behind this film, because they attempt to recreate it in every aspect. Unfortunately for those of us who have seen it, this means that the film lacks necessary suspense and intrigue. The only time they ever deviate from the original is at the conclusion and the results of that are mixed (I didn’t particularly enjoy the change). All of the various scenes that could be considered scary have been lifted directly from the 2002 film, but to a lesser degree of fear. The elevator sequence is a prime example of this; the original scene was frightening and almost maddeningly so, while this one comes off as something you could see in limitless American horror efforts today.

So, basically, if you have seen the original, skip this one and do not worry about missing anything new. But, what about those of you who have not seen the original? Well, what you will find in The Eye (2008) is a semi-generic, but very well-made film. Moreau and Palud (most famous for the French horror film, Ils) bring a certain visual charm that makes the film attractive to look at if nothing else. The special effects, especially in the finale, are quite a treat and the creature effects, though they are often masked in shadows, are still creepy. The casting, aside from the awkward pairing of Alba and Posey as sisters (how about...close friends?), is far better than one would expect from a movie like this. Alba is a sympathetic and likable lead, more than capable of carrying the movie. When all was said and done, Gin gwai was still the movie for me, but I did enjoy The Eye (2008) for what it was. After so many remake debacles, it was a relief to see one as solid as this. After all, I still have nightmares about One Missed Call (2008).

Movie Review: Hatchet (2006)

Hatchet (2006)

Hilariously Over-The-Top

Directed By: Adam Green
Starring: Joel David Moore, Tamara Feldman, & Deon Richmond
MPAA Rating: “Unrated”

Hatchet was made by horror fans for horror fans. If you don’t know who Kane Hodder is, then you should stay away from this blood-soaked, severed head-covered horror comedy. For everyone else, this is the kind of film that will have you giddy with excitement from start to finish. Filled with references to classic slasher films (namely Friday the 13th) and sporting some of the most brutal and creative death scenes in a long time, Hatchet may be about as dumb as Paris Hilton, but it is far more fun. Having been a huge fan of Adam Green’s Spiral,I was really looking forward to Hatchet and I was pleasantly surprised by the shift of tone in the two films. I cannot remember a time when one director has directed two such very different films within a two year period, but Green does this and he does it very well.

Ben (Moore) is in New Orleans for Mardi Gras with his best friend Marcus (Richmond) when he decides to take a haunted swamp tour under the supervision of the inexperienced and absent-minded Shawn (Parry Shen). Along with them are a variety of characters, including the token dumb slut Misty (Mercedes McNab), the amateur porn director Shapiro (Joel Murray), and the mysterious and alluring Marybeth (Feldman). Despite the warnings of a crazy old fisherman, the tour group sails out into the abandoned swamp in a dinky little boat only to find it sunk and themselves stranded. Marybeth tells them all of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder), the deformed maniac who supposedly haunts the swamp and, though they do not believe her at first, they soon come face-to-face with the brutal killer and find themselves dying in an array of ghoulishly inventive ways.

The question occurred to me near the end of Hatchet: which film, this or Spiral, was the superior of the two Adam Green films. The answer to that is, quite simply, neither. Both films are equally-effective in what they wanted to do and, though Hatchet has “Multiple Viewings” printed all over its face (Spiral was a one-time thing), it probably works at its most significant level as a companion piece to Green’s second film. I could totally see myself watching both of them back-to-back and loving each of them even more than I do right now. Green has proven that he is no one-trick pony and that he is capable of flawlessly alternating tones between films. Because of this, I doubt we will ever get bored with this writer/director and that is always a good thing. Whereas Spiral was a moody character-driven psychological thriller, Hatchet exists solely to decapitate semi-nude blondes and sever a few appendages. Even better, it does all of this with its tongue placed firmly in its cheek.

If I did have a few problems with the film, they came primarily from the fact that its plot was paper-thin and so it didn’t wow me in that respect. It was almost too easy to choose which character would die next and, though they did die in impressive ways, I would have much rather preferred to see a few curveballs thrown in for good measure. Also, was it me or could this entire problem have been solved rather quickly if the characters had just chosen a direction and started running? From what I gathered, Crowley stuck close to his house and so it would seem quite natural to run like a bat out of Hades away from it, instead of right towards it every fifteen minutes. All problems aside though, I had a great time watching all of the carnage go down and I am so glad to see Victor Crowley live!

Movie Review: Day of the Dead (2008)

Day of the Dead (2008)

Terribly Terrible Fun

Directed By: Steve Miner
Starring: Mena Suvari, Nick Cannon, & Ving Rhames
MPAA Rating: “R” (for strong pervasive horror violence and gore, and language)

I expected to hate Day of the Dead (2008)...and, honestly, I should have. In fact, I would venture to say that this is one of the most technically-incompetent films I have reviewed for this site. It is directed with all of the skill of an elementary school play, has awful special effects, and features a storyline that really amounts to nothing more than a jumbled mess. As it was, I wanted nothing to do with this film for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost, George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead did not need a remake. On top of that, nothing about this film seemed appetizing With the exception of Mena Suvari and Ving Rhames (and, yes, AnnaLynne McCord...but on a more visual level), the film screamed mediocrity. So, the question is: why did I like it as much as I did?

Having very little resemblance to Romero’s film, Day of the Dead (2008) only retains a few names and a hint at the Bud subplot. Sarah Bowman (Suvari) is a tough military woman who has been ordered to quarantine her hometown in order to keep a viral outbreak under control. People everywhere are having flu-like symptoms coupled with bloody noses; and it is spreading like wildfire. Suddenly, all of the infected go catatonic and, when they are revived, they turn into mutilated zombies that begin to feast on the flesh of the living. Sarah and a small group of survivors, including her brother (Michael Welch) and his girlfriend (AnnaLynne McCord), realize that they must escape the town quickly before they find themselves on the dinner menu.

Was this a remake? It certainly didn’t feel like one and all of the nods to the original film were groan-inducing. When one character revealed his name to be Bud, I rolled my eyes. When Bud’s character arc revealed itself to be similar to that of the same-named character in the first film, I was practically vomiting. Other than those few nods, it bared no resemblance to its predecessor and, though I found this to be fortunate on one front, it also made me wonder why any connection was necessary. If anything, it just made the film seem even more desperate to attract credibility, without doing anything to deserve it. The film also slows its rocket-fast pace every once in a while to include some semblance of emotional relevance; these moments clashed with the blood and guts that permeated the rest of the film and these scenes just didn’t work.

So, now that you know why I had all the reason in the world to hate this movie, allow me to go onto why I am giving it a semi-favorable review. With all of the terrible special effects and the pretty lame plot, Day of the Dead manages to keep its lightning-quick pace flowing smoothly (with the exception of a few hiccups every now and then). Once it kicked off at about the twenty minute mark, it rarely slowed down. The film just kept delivering scene after scene of zombie carnage and, quite honestly, I had fun watching it all go down. If Romero’s film was a more dialog-driven character study set against a zombie infestation, Steve Miner’s film is pure gore-coated entertainment. Tyler Bates also does do a great job with the musical score, which is perhaps far too classy and respectable to be tacked onto such a tasteless movie. This isn’t the kind of film I would ever buy or even watch again but, for a single viewing, it’s hard to deny the guilt-covered pleasure that comes from watching Day of the Dead (2008).

Movie Review: I Am Legend (2007)

I Am Legend (2007)

Will Smith Survives.

Directed By: Francis Lawrence
Starring: Will Smith, Alice Braga, & Salli Richardson
MPAA Rating: “PG-13” (for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence)

Will Smith survived the apocalypse. He survived the massacre. But, can he survive horrible special effects and dull writing? The good news is that he does indeed make it out alive. The bad news is that the film is not nearly as good as it could...no, should have been. What was destined to be one of 2007’s best genre offerings ends up being decidedly good, but not great. The best thing that this film has going for it is, of course, Will Smith who gives a truly mesmerizing performance. It is always a pleasure to watch him work, especially when he seems to connect with the material as he did here. The film also succeeds in keeping the pot bubbling throughout, moving at a rapid pace and keeping the entertainment coming.

Robert Neville (Smith) is, as it would seem, the last man alive on earth. After a viral plague turned much of the world’s population into violent, savage, and completely inhuman creatures, these monsters proceeded to feast on the survivors. After all of this, Robert still remains, living in a house in Greenwich Village that is barricaded by steel shutters at night to keep out the monsters. In his house, he has a laboratory in which he desperately looks for a cure for the disease, hoping to one day restore normalcy to the world. His only companion is his dog, Samantha, that was given to him by his young daughter just moments before she and Robert’s wife were killed in a helicopter crash. When he learns of a commune of survivors in Vermont, a small glimmer of hope returns and he continues his desperate quest to save the world.

The main problem with I Am Legend is that there really is never a well-developed flow to the whole thing. We are given the set-up within the first thirty minutes and then the rest of the film mainly relies on the creatures jumping out of the darkness, attacking something, and causing a multitude of problems. This may not have been such a debilitating problem had the creatures looked frightening or even realistic. Instead, they are all computer-generated and they are ugly, clumsy, and boring. In a film that sports amazing visual effects in the building of an abandoned New York City, the creatures look especially bad. When did we become so desperate to abandon prosthetics or even some well-applied makeup effects? The creatures are, of course, humanistic in appearance and so the excessive CGI was unnecessary. Why waste bad CGI on a good movie?

I Am Legend works as fast, easy, and perfectly enjoyable entertainment. However, it lacks the weight and social importance that should have been a key ingredient. The best moments in the film involve Robert’s relationship with the German Shepherd. They are at times powerful and poignant without ever seeming sappy. The scenes with Robert and his family are also especially touching and tastefully-done; they never feel exploitative. Many have commented on the film’s religious symbolism and other similar elements and, though there are moments that hint at this, I do not think that I Am Legend is really smart enough to contain and develop such symbolism. It is just popcorn fluff stuff and that really is all there is to it. Fortunately, it’s fun and well-polished fluff that, sporting a great performance from Smith and an impressive set design, is perfectly adequate. Still, I cannot help but wonder, “What could have been?”

Movie Review: Cruel World (2005)

Cruel World (2005)

Good Heavens...

Directed By: Kelsey T. Howard
Starring: Edward Furlong, Laura Ramsey, & Jaime Pressly
MPAA Rating: “R” (for strong sadistic violence and gore, language and some sexuality)

I’m going to start off by putting all of my feelings about Cruel World (2005) out on the table directly: I hated it...hated, hated, hated this movie. The movie is not just poorly made...it is also dumb, vile, ugly, and clichéd. Made three years before its tepid DVD release, it stars Edward Furlong, Jaime Pressly, and Laura Ramsey. Pressley and Ramsey have, quite fortunately, gone on to bigger and better things...and Furlong, well, he is still alive and not in rehab, surprisingly enough. The release was, no doubt, prompted by Jaime Pressly’s recent rush with fame. Unfortunately for her and everyone else involved, this is probably one of those projects they had hoped would never get released.

Philip Markham was a contestant on one of those silly reality romance shows called “Lover’s Lane” and, though he fell in love with the beautiful Catherine Anderson (Pressley), she sent him packing in favor of a more traditional hunk. Now, a little while later, the mentally-unstable Philip goes completely nuts and kills Catherine and her husband, after inviting a group of cardboard cut-outs to take part in a new reality show. One of them is Jenny (Ramsey), an attractive blonde who catches the eye of the psychotic loser who controls the game via a series of cameras and an intercom. When people begin to get eliminated, the remaining contestants begin to suspect that something is wrong with the entire situation. When bodies begin to pile up, the survivors are thrown into a desperate battle for survival against Philip and his mentally-handicapped brother. There can only be one winner on this show...and we are certainly not it.

One of the biggest problems with Cruel World is that the only interesting character is Philip Markham. He is given all of the intriguing concepts, the best dialog, and the most compelling character arc. However, all of this is awarded to the woefully-untalented Edward Furlong who was once, no doubt, a capable actor until drugs and years of hard partying fried his brain. Now, he just screams aimlessly, laughs maniacally, and looks pathetic. The writers also make the mistake of wasting Jaime Pressly who is a talented actress, despite a slew of questionable film roles (this being one of them). The film uses her as its main marketing ploy, though it must be said that she does not even make it to the thirty minute mark. The rest of the cast is given much more screen time and most of them prove to be far more talented than the raging Furlong...however, they are all wasted on boring parts included merely to throw another body onto the pile.

I do not see myself as a particularly difficult person to please...I enjoyed April Fool’s Day (2008), for crying out loud. However, Cruel World makes the mistake of taking potentially interesting material, slashing it down to nothing more than a dull joke, and then filming it in an uninspired way. It resembled something along the lines of a student film, except without the passion that student filmmakers often put into their projects. Each shot is based on the age-old point-and-shoot method and this makes for a shockingly boring movie-watching experience. Even the death scenes, with the exception of one particular decapitation, are completely useless. What I did enjoy about Cruel World, however, was Laura Ramsey who comes off as a good actress trapped in a bad film. She deserved better than this. So did Jaime Pressly...so did Brian Geraghty, Susan Ward, and all of the rest. But, most importantly, so did we.

Movie Review: Halloween II (1978)

Halloween II (1981)

A Worthy Sequel

Directed By: Rick Rosenthal
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, & Charles Cyphers
MPAA Rating: “R”

Halloween II is not the original film...not even close and anyone going into this expecting the terror that permeated John Carpenter’s classic will be sorely disappointed. Michael has lost much of the eeriness that ounce enshrouded him, instead becoming just a mindless slasher who stalks and kills everyone he encounters: doctors, nurses, police officers, etc. Whereas Halloween (1978) was all about build-up and suspense, this is a splatter movie, plain and simple. However, it does work as a continuation of the original and it plays best when watched right after a viewing of the first film. The two films seem to naturally connect and, though Halloween II may seem cheesy and unnecessary when viewed as a separate entity, it is actually a perfectly worthy sequel that is more fun than a barrel-of-monkeys and even a little frightening at times.

Just hours after Laurie Strode (Curtis) escaped Michael Myers and was rescued by Doctor Samuel Loomis (Pleasence), she is taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for various cuts and bruises and mental trauma. However, Michael soon shows up and, still very much alive despite being riddled with bullets, begins to knock off various doctors and nurses around the hospital in a desperate search to find Laurie. When Laurie realizes that Michael has indeed returned and that her nightmare is far from over, she is once again plunged into a harrowing fight for survival. Meanwhile, Doctor Loomis again tries to rescue her, as Nurse Marion Chambers (Nancy Stephens) is sent to bring him back and leave the case alone. Oh, and they all also realize that Laurie is actually Michael’s sister and that is why he wants to kill her...or something to that effect (the sibling aspect was thrown in as somewhat of an after-thought).

Halloween II suffers from the usual problem that plagues sequels: we have seen it all before. We know who Michael Myers is, what he is capable of doing, and just how he prefers to do things. This makes him far less scary and Rick Rosenthal makes the grave mistake of showing him far too often in the first half. Like the rather inane, but enjoyable remake from Rob Zombie, the movie is far too focused on killing off a whole bunch of side characters in uninspired and unremarkable ways. Half of them are only given about five minutes of screen time before they are killed off. There is little to no suspense and the hospital angle is never played out well enough; it seems far too convenient that no patients ever need assistance and that there are so few patients to begin with.

However, Halloween II comes out looking far better than most films of this nature because of its mean-spirited brutality (you may have seen all of these deaths before, but they were filmed with very little sympathy, i.e. the hot tub scene...ouch) and, of course, because of the performances from Donald Pleasence and Jamie Lee Curtis who bring credibility to what might have otherwise been just another eighties slasher bore. It also scores points for feeling like a natural progression from the end of the first film. It did not feel like a slapdash sequel thrown together and tacked on to make money (though, I’m sure it was). There are a few words that could be used to describe Halloween II. “Inspired” and “Original” are not two of them...however, “Fun” and “Frivolous” are. When I’m looking for a film to scare the living daylights out of me, I always turn to Halloween (1978). When I’m looking for a little guilt-free entertainment, I could do much worse than Halloween II.

Movie Review: Halloween (2007)

Halloween (2007)

An Uninspired Remake

Directed By: Rob Zombie
Starring: Tyler Mane, Malcolm McDowell, & Scout Taylor-Compton
MPAA Rating: “Unrated”

Rob Zombie was supposed to be the savior of the Halloween franchise...the man who could restore it to its original greatness. Zombie was very vocal about his dislike of the other Halloween sequels and insisted that he was the man who could once again make Michael Myers scary. Well, to be blunt, Rob Zombie failed...miserably. This is not to say that his version of Halloween is necessarily bad, but it certainly isn’t scary and he definitely missed what made John Carpenter’s classic so amazing. What Zombie brings to the table is more violence and more gore, but less creativity and less inspiration. To expand upon Carpenter and Debra Hill’s original story, he tacks on a useless and two-dimensional back story that has been exploited by just about every slasher series in the history of film and, when he is handling the original material, it is all just mindless mimicry.

Michael Myers (played by Daeg Faerch) is just a normal ten year old boy...except that he lives with an abusive and physically-handicapped stepfather, a stripper mother, and a whore of an older sister, and that he enjoys killing animals in brutal ways. On Halloween night, he brutally massacres everyone in his family, except for his mother and his baby sister who he affectionately calls “Boo.” As a result, he is locked away and placed under the care of Doctor Samuel Loomis (McDowell, in a wonderful performance). Over the course of his hospitalization, he kills a nurse (Sybil Danning) and proves that there is nothing human left within his mind. Years later, he escapes and begins a quest to find his baby sister, Laurie Strode (Taylor-Compton). Along the way, he inexplicably kills a whole lot of people who don’t add anything to the story, except for their severed limbs.

What has Rob Zombie done for Halloween, you ask? Well, he has assembled a nice cast. Malcolm McDowell is a worthy successor to the role of Dr. Loomis and Scout Taylor-Compton is fairly decent as a Jamie Lee Curtis wannabe. I particularly appreciated the casting of Danielle Harris (who played Laurie’s daughter in Halloween 4 & 5) as Annie Brackett. Brad Dourif is also another welcome addition. I would have rather seen Adrienne Barbeau’s deleted scene, however, than a dull scene with Sid Haig (who, no doubt, was included because he is good friends with Zombie). Michael Myers also looks his best since the original film; I really dug the mask. The musical score (with a slight variation of the original theme music) is nice and eerie. Zombie also has a few inspired directing shots that seem to mirror some of Carpenter’s without every blatantly copying them. The film is also entertaining enough for me to give it a passing score (no matter how slight).

Now, on to the negative! Who edited this film? It certainly seemed as though Myers himself hacked it up with that butcher knife, because there was no coherent narrative. The film jumped around endlessly, making it impossible to figure out just where exactly Michael Myers was at any given time. Is he here or is he across town? We never can be sure. Also, the dialog is cheesy and dull, perhaps even painful at times. Our three leading ladies (especially the lovely Kristina Klebe) are characterized as being nothing more than whiny losers and so it makes it hard to care for any of them. The entire prologue depicting Michael’s childhood, despite easily being the best part of the film, is disposable and clichéd. Zombie packs the movie with too much violence, too much sex, and too much language, losing the classiness and respectability that was Halloween (1978). However, what Zombie lacks in originality and tastefulness, he almost rectifies with nice production values and nearly two hours of guilty entertainment. Given the fact that his first film was the abysmal House of 1000 Corpses, I think it is fair to say that he has made a lot of progress.

Movie Review: Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978)

A Work of Perfection

Directed By: John Carpenter
Starring: Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, & P.J. Soles
MPAA Rating: “R"

Here is another short review from yours truly. If you haven’t seen Halloween (1978), you have no doubt heard about its greatness and are, for some strange reason, choosing not to watch it. If you have seen it, then you know everything I’m going to say in this review. Halloween is an amazing low-budget film, one that has shaped the slasher genre in a very profound way. Though it was not the first so-called slasher flick (that honor goes to the 1974 Black Christmas), Halloween introduced the concept of a masked killer knocking off over-sexed teens, leaving the token virgin to survive for the sequel. The virgin is Laurie Strode (Curtis), the quintessential “final girl” who is the Luke Skywalker of the horror genre. Everyone knows her name and every aspiring horror actress is always trying to live up to her legacy. The same can be said for filmmakers trying to make a truly great horror film; Halloween is a flawless blueprint for a slasher flick and yet it still remains untouched by other genre offerings.

The plot is very simple, though the sequels obviously complicated things a bit more. With no signs of sibling rivalry or witchcraft or whatever, Halloween is just about the masked Michael Myers, an ominous and mysterious killer, stalking three young high school girls on Halloween night. The survivor of the proceeding massacre, Laurie Strode, must try to escape the clutches of the brutal villain, while his former doctor, Doctor Samuel Loomis (Pleasence), desperately races to rescue her and end Michael’s reign of terror forever. In this day and age, Halloween could be called predictable and perhaps it may have been in 1978, but the true terror comes in waiting. As we watch Michael stare ominously at Annie through windows and open doors, we know that things will not end well for the humorous teenager (after all, we saw what he did to his sister when he was just a little tyke), and the movie builds dread before unleashing the scene about which we were so nervous. Halloween is not about excess or violence, but about restraint and suspense.

Halloween ends with a foreboding and perhaps even haunting conclusion, when we slowly come to the realization that Michael may be far darker and more dangerous than we originally thought. This was a masterful ending, one that has never been recreated quite as effectively and, though it has been exploited to create countless sequels, it caps off a completely perfect film. This is the film that changed the horror genre, defined Jamie Lee Curtis as the one and only “Scream Queen,” and placed John Carpenter atop a pedestal. Nearly thirty years later, Halloween remains as perhaps the scariest film of all-time and one of the best examples of the greatness of the genre we all know and love. It is a film that connected with critics and audiences and is still studied and observed by film school students. Are there any problems with it? I don’t know...I don’t think so. If there are, I didn’t notice them. The only problem that one might associate with it is that, for every positive influence it has had on the genre, there have been ten shameless and awful rip-offs. Of course, one cannot blame this on the perfection that is Halloween. I am not sure why anyone reading this review would not have seen this film, but I can only say that, if you haven’t, make it a priority. Toss your copy of One Missed Call (2008) into the trash and experience real, unrelenting, and visceral terror in its purest form.

Movie Review: Diary of the Dead (2007)

Diary of the Dead (2007)

Run For Your Life! (Part 2)

Directed By: George A. Romero
Starring: Michelle Morgan, Shawn Roberts, & Amy Lalonde
MPAA Rating: “R” (for strong horror violence and gore, and pervasive language)

We have come to expect a lot from George A. Romero who basically created the zombie subgenre in 1968 with the shocking Night of the Living Dead (1968). Ever since then, he has continued to expand and delve deeper into his own franchise with each installment...until now. Diary of the Dead takes a step back to the beginning of the end of the world and to mixed results. I’m going to try to put all of the negatives out on the table quickly so that we can move onto what Romero accomplishes with the fifth installment in his series. On the downside, the narrative tends to meander and lacks a certain flow that is necessary, the dialog and characterization are pathetic and dull, and the directorial technique made famous by such films as The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield is completely wasted and sometimes obtrusive.

Diary of the Dead occurs at the beginning of the epidemic that began in Night of the Living Dead and was last seen in Land of the Dead. A group of film students who are filming some silly horror film are interrupted by news of the living dead. When they return to their dormitories, they find them abandoned. So, they all pack up in an RV and decide to head towards their homes. On the way, they encounter greedy National Guard soldiers and, of course, the living dead. As they race to survive, one of them decides to film it all and post it on Myspace to show others just how to survive. Of course, as they quickly discover, survival is far more difficult than they ever could have imagined.

Okay, I didn’t buy the entire idea behind Diary of the Dead. Unlike Cloverfield, Diary of the Dead wanted to have its cake and eat it too. Though it is filmed in a first-person narrative, Romero uses music, security camera footage, and a second camera to make sure everyone knows what is happening. My question is this: if you want the effect of a regular movie, then why wouldn’t you just film it that way? The excuse used in the film just didn’t work for me. Also, I found the idea that a person would rather film the events occurring than rescue his friends and even himself at times very far-fetched. Drop the freaking camera and help save your girlfriend already! Now, with all of that spilled out for your consumption, let’s move on to what made me actually like the movie.

No one can handle the undead like George A. Romero and there is no difference here. He still brings his signature flair to the project, providing ample suspense, dark humor, great gore gags, and social satire. Despite the uneven narrative, I still managed to follow the story well enough and I really grooved to the basic plotline. There were a few scenes that I felt really stood out, including the scene at Michelle Morgan’s character’s house and the scene with the Amish man. When it came right down to it, I found Diary of the Dead to be a solid genre offering...straight-forward fun. The problem is that, when it comes to Romero, I have come to expect more. This is probably his weakest entry into the franchise and, though I did thoroughly enjoy it, I couldn’t help but feel as though Romero lost something with it. I certainly recommend it and it will find a place on my DVD shelf, but it could have been great.

News: Horror Fares Well In Summer Shuffle

The Survival of R-rated Horror

It was quite a busy weekend at the box-office and the R-rated The Strangers (starring Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman) managed to keep its head afloat against such titans as an aged adventurer and four over-sexed ladies. Making the difficult decision, I chose to see Sex and the City this weekend (with a crowd of fake blondes in revealing outfits...needless to say, I think I made the right choice haha) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It made around $55 million, far above expert predictions, and is already a stable success (its budget was only $65 million so it will be making money very soon). Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came in second with $46 million (I saw it last week and really enjoyed it). However, what is possibly the biggest success story of the weekend is The Strangers, which made around $20 million on a $9 million budget. I have yet to see it, but I probably will be doing so sometime this week after hearing almost universally positive buzz. This is a great sign for R-rated horror and, though it did not top the box-office, it certainly is a step in the right direction. I may have enjoyed Prom Night (2008) on a very basic level, but there really is nothing like good old-fashioned, R-rated terror and, from what I hear, that is what The Strangers is.