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Bats (1999)
Big Bats Attack Dumb Movie
Directed By: Louis Morneau
Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips, Dina Meyer, & Leon
MPAA Rating: “R” (for some graphic, bloody bat attacks)
Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips, Dina Meyer, & Leon
MPAA Rating: “R” (for some graphic, bloody bat attacks)
There is a sense of desperation in these creature features that comes when someone (usually the token mad scientist) eerily explains that the bloodthirsty creatures that just killed all of those people are unlike anything ever seen. They are smarter, faster, and have escaped the constraints of their species...unless, of course, these constraints are necessary for their eventual annihilation. Suddenly, the bats are no longer bats; they are just little monsters with wings that somewhat resemble the usually calm animals. This takes all of the fun out of movies such as these...and so it is with Bats, a movie that relies solely on the fact that these bats are not really bats. Even the mad scientist, complete with slightly-bulging eyes and maniacal monologues, is present.
After two teenagers are brutally ripped apart, Sheriff Emmett Kimsey (a woefully-miscast Phillips) enlists the assistance of Dr. Sheila Casper (Meyer), an expert on bats. Not surprisingly, it turns out that bats were responsible (this would be more shocking if the movie wasn’t called Bats and if they didn’t make it very clear that Sheila was a bat expert...and if we hadn’t seen the bats kill them). As it turns out, these are not just any bats. They are biologically-engineered bats, altered by Dr. Alexander McCabe (Bob Gunton) to be all of the things I listed above. As I said earlier, these are not bats; they are just monsters with wings. So, Emmett and Sheila, with the help of the token black guy named Jimmy (Leon), race to bring an end to the bats that only keep spreading and contaminating other bats. Meanwhile, the entire world hangs in the balance.
I will be very honest for just a moment before I began my in-depth analysis of the art that is Bats (Cue the rolling of the eyes...now!). This movie is about as dumb as they come. Each character, with the exception of Meyers’s (as she really is the only one who plays it straight), seems to be some kind of strange farce on an actual person. Overacting abounds in this film. As do hammy creature effects (these bats look strangely like little devils with glowing red eyes), horrible quick-cut editing, and more preparation montages than can be found in an inspirational sports movie. The film defies all sense of logic and even common sense. Characters run wildly, turning every so often to shoot a few bullets at millions of bats, as the countdown to complete annihilation draws near. By the halfway mark, we have seen so much of these winged creatures and the carnage they bring that, by the time we reach the explosive conclusion, we don’t really care anymore.
Bats is strange in that it really seems as though they were really trying to make a comedic horror film...instead, however, it comes off as a Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week. It just takes itself so seriously; yet no single aspect of the movie is ever delivered with that same seriousness. Bob Gunton, a very talented actor in his own right, perhaps epitomizes this miserable trait. He is so thoroughly evil, so deranged, and so over-the-top in the movie that he seems like a villain that would be present in a children’s cartoon. Lou Diamond Phillips, who has never been known for being a very talented actor but can be when he tries, also falls victim to this. He is a southern sheriff and, following the humorous cliché, wears a cowboy hat, puffs on a cigar, and stares around in mindless ignorance. Bats is just a bland and thoroughly dumb movie that, despite being guilty entertainment at times, just doesn’t do enough to warrant your time.
After two teenagers are brutally ripped apart, Sheriff Emmett Kimsey (a woefully-miscast Phillips) enlists the assistance of Dr. Sheila Casper (Meyer), an expert on bats. Not surprisingly, it turns out that bats were responsible (this would be more shocking if the movie wasn’t called Bats and if they didn’t make it very clear that Sheila was a bat expert...and if we hadn’t seen the bats kill them). As it turns out, these are not just any bats. They are biologically-engineered bats, altered by Dr. Alexander McCabe (Bob Gunton) to be all of the things I listed above. As I said earlier, these are not bats; they are just monsters with wings. So, Emmett and Sheila, with the help of the token black guy named Jimmy (Leon), race to bring an end to the bats that only keep spreading and contaminating other bats. Meanwhile, the entire world hangs in the balance.
I will be very honest for just a moment before I began my in-depth analysis of the art that is Bats (Cue the rolling of the eyes...now!). This movie is about as dumb as they come. Each character, with the exception of Meyers’s (as she really is the only one who plays it straight), seems to be some kind of strange farce on an actual person. Overacting abounds in this film. As do hammy creature effects (these bats look strangely like little devils with glowing red eyes), horrible quick-cut editing, and more preparation montages than can be found in an inspirational sports movie. The film defies all sense of logic and even common sense. Characters run wildly, turning every so often to shoot a few bullets at millions of bats, as the countdown to complete annihilation draws near. By the halfway mark, we have seen so much of these winged creatures and the carnage they bring that, by the time we reach the explosive conclusion, we don’t really care anymore.
Bats is strange in that it really seems as though they were really trying to make a comedic horror film...instead, however, it comes off as a Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week. It just takes itself so seriously; yet no single aspect of the movie is ever delivered with that same seriousness. Bob Gunton, a very talented actor in his own right, perhaps epitomizes this miserable trait. He is so thoroughly evil, so deranged, and so over-the-top in the movie that he seems like a villain that would be present in a children’s cartoon. Lou Diamond Phillips, who has never been known for being a very talented actor but can be when he tries, also falls victim to this. He is a southern sheriff and, following the humorous cliché, wears a cowboy hat, puffs on a cigar, and stares around in mindless ignorance. Bats is just a bland and thoroughly dumb movie that, despite being guilty entertainment at times, just doesn’t do enough to warrant your time.
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