.jpg)
Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)
Undeniably Awful
Directed By: James Bryan
Starring: Jack McClelland, Mary Gail Artz, & Angie Brown
MPAA Rating: “R”
Starring: Jack McClelland, Mary Gail Artz, & Angie Brown
MPAA Rating: “R”
I once heard someone say that Don’t Go in the Woods was just an unpretentious slasher flick that really only wanted to have fun. I can certainly see where they were coming from; the film is a technical disaster with everything, from the acting to the musical score, being of the worst quality imaginable. But, horror fans have come to look past technical aspects to enjoy many fun films so why should Don’t Go in the Woods be any different? Well, because it really isn’t fun...at all. In fact, this is one of the most boring films I have ever sat through. The plot is perhaps incomprehensible, though we do somewhat figure out that there is a killer and that people are dying just by the seeing people groan followed by a dribble of blood in the grass.
The plot is barely existent, but I will try to make due with what was provided. Four campers (McClelland, Artz, Brown, and James P. Hayden) head off into the woods for a little bit of fun. Meanwhile, a whole bunch of random and thoroughly grating people (One word: “Dick!”) are brutally butchered (or, at least, I think they are, but it was hard to make out exactly what was happening). When the killer turns on the friends and kills one of them, two manage to successfully escape the woods and reach the police. Realizing that they have left one of their friends behind, they head for a little bit of vigilante justice as the bumbling cops stay two steps behind everything. Blood flies, more people die, and then the movie ends. Does that sound interesting to you? It did to me too; unfortunately, the movie is not nearly that fun.
Having just reviewed the abysmal One Missed Call (2008), I can honestly say that, though Hollywood is in a rather dire state right now, even the worst of our films hardly come close to the atrociousness of Don’t Go in the Woods. As I have said, the film is a technical disaster. Characterization? There wasn’t any. Writing? Really bad. Editing? Good heavens! Direction? Jerky and annoying. Musical score? Too comical for a serious horror film (or any horror film for that matter). Acting? Terrible, terrible, and yes, terrible from everyone. Don’t Go in the Woods is filled with first-time actors who never acted again (Artz went on to become a popular casting director, but she was never seen in front of the camera after this). I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this film ruined most of their careers, but I also think that it, if I were a producer, I would never hire an actor from this film.
I didn’t like House of 1000 Corpses. I didn’t like One Missed Call (2008). I didn’t like Lake Dead. But, I absolutely hated Don’t Go in the Woods. I understand that it was a low-budget film that came from the horror mass production era known as the eighties, but even the dumbest, most incompetent film can at least be pure entertainment. This, however, is not. It is just very bland and it plays out like a bad joke that never realizes how bad it really is. Instead, it just keeps going, sinking deeper and deeper into its own stupidity and aimlessness. Is there anything good to be said here? Well, I really enjoyed the first of the two hanging sleeping bag scenes. Someone should really post that on Youtube so that horror fans can watch it without having to endure the rest of the film.
The plot is barely existent, but I will try to make due with what was provided. Four campers (McClelland, Artz, Brown, and James P. Hayden) head off into the woods for a little bit of fun. Meanwhile, a whole bunch of random and thoroughly grating people (One word: “Dick!”) are brutally butchered (or, at least, I think they are, but it was hard to make out exactly what was happening). When the killer turns on the friends and kills one of them, two manage to successfully escape the woods and reach the police. Realizing that they have left one of their friends behind, they head for a little bit of vigilante justice as the bumbling cops stay two steps behind everything. Blood flies, more people die, and then the movie ends. Does that sound interesting to you? It did to me too; unfortunately, the movie is not nearly that fun.
Having just reviewed the abysmal One Missed Call (2008), I can honestly say that, though Hollywood is in a rather dire state right now, even the worst of our films hardly come close to the atrociousness of Don’t Go in the Woods. As I have said, the film is a technical disaster. Characterization? There wasn’t any. Writing? Really bad. Editing? Good heavens! Direction? Jerky and annoying. Musical score? Too comical for a serious horror film (or any horror film for that matter). Acting? Terrible, terrible, and yes, terrible from everyone. Don’t Go in the Woods is filled with first-time actors who never acted again (Artz went on to become a popular casting director, but she was never seen in front of the camera after this). I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this film ruined most of their careers, but I also think that it, if I were a producer, I would never hire an actor from this film.
I didn’t like House of 1000 Corpses. I didn’t like One Missed Call (2008). I didn’t like Lake Dead. But, I absolutely hated Don’t Go in the Woods. I understand that it was a low-budget film that came from the horror mass production era known as the eighties, but even the dumbest, most incompetent film can at least be pure entertainment. This, however, is not. It is just very bland and it plays out like a bad joke that never realizes how bad it really is. Instead, it just keeps going, sinking deeper and deeper into its own stupidity and aimlessness. Is there anything good to be said here? Well, I really enjoyed the first of the two hanging sleeping bag scenes. Someone should really post that on Youtube so that horror fans can watch it without having to endure the rest of the film.
0 comments:
Post a Comment